Paint Your Narrative

Conquering Conflict and Reclaiming Your Power

Scene from the mural, Sunday Afternoon in Alameda Park by Diego Rivera

Welcome to Leading by Design!

Hello, and welcome to Leading by Design! If you’re new here, add your email to ensure that you receive my next piece in your inbox, and if you want to read more of my posts, check out my archive here!

Who Should Read This Newsletter 👈️ 

  • Creative leaders who struggle with conflict and negative emotions

  • Individuals seeking to transform their narratives and reclaim their power

Today, in 5 Minutes or Less, you’ll Learn 👏

  • To reflect on the defining moments in your life and the people who have shaped you.

  • Use writing to release negative emotions and embrace new perspectives.

  • Discover the power of narrative to rewrite your story and reclaim your power.

Buenos Dias!

I’m in Mexico City at the Museo Mural Diego Rivera, standing in front of the fifty-foot-long mural Sunday Afternoon in Alameda Park by Diego Rivera. My heart opens to the epic visual narrative in front of me.  

Rivera's masterpiece is not merely a historical record but a powerful commentary on the human condition. The mural portrays the struggles and glories of three eras of Mexican history - the Porfiriato dictatorship, the Conquest, and the revolution of 1910. 

Hundreds of people, including indigenous people, historical personages, children, bankers, police, mothers, the artist and his wife Frida Kahlo, politicians, and dictators, are depicted.

Over to the right, there's a revolutionary confrontation between an indigenous family and a police officer and a man shooting into the face of someone being trampled by a horse. The brutality takes me to the present-day domestic and international wars.

It’s a Shock

This is not an edited view of history to gain political advancement by Mexico’s leaders. No, the artist shows us that Mexican history's struggles and glory involved inclusive participation from all segments of society.

Just as Rivera's mural captures the essence of Mexico's past, you, too, can create a visual tapestry that reflects the essence of your own life. Your mural will chronicle the defining moments, the people who have shaped you, and the relationships that have enriched your journey. It will testify to your unique experiences, joys and sorrows, connections and challenges.

To embark on this creative endeavor, I invite you to pause and reflect on your life's defining struggles and glories. Ask yourself:

1. Who are the people who have played pivotal roles in your life?

2. Which of them has tested your resilience and ignited your passions? 

3. What is your relationship with them? 

4. When did you meet them? 

5. What is your earliest and most memorable memory of them?

6. What things did you do together?

7. What facts do you remember as accurate during your relationship?

8. Do you have a good memory of them? 

  • Did they smile and mean it and listen deeply when you spoke? 

  • Were they present to your needs? 

  • Did they speak the truth? 

  • Did you feel accepted and feel their compassion? 

  • Were they quick to forgive your transgressions and mistakes? 

  • Did they appreciate you?

  • Were they plentiful with their praise? 

  • Did they respect you?

  • Did they ask you questions or seek your advice?

  • Were they genuinely interested in you and your values? 

  • Did they remain unbiased and give freely of themself? 

  • Did they express care or love for you?

9. Do you have a bad memory of them?

  • Did they ignore you? 

  • Were they verbally abusive?

  • Did they try to intimidate you? 

  • Did they spread rumors about you?

  • Did they intrude on your privacy? 

  • Did they isolate or violate you?

  • Did they deny your experience? 

  • Did they undermine you?

  • Did they question your adequacy and commitment? 

  • Did they offer unsolicited advice?

  • Did they impede your progress and success?

  • Did they tell you you were wrong when you weren’t? 

  • Did they talk over or criticize you when you needed empathy? 

10. What do you know now about their limitations?

  • Just as you have flaws and imperfections, so do the people who shape our lives. Do you recognize their limitations and challenges?

  • Were they unwell? 

  • Were they having problems? 

  • Did they lack communication skills? 

  • Did they have the appropriate training for the work they did?

  • Did they have familial, partnership, or community support? 

  • Were they experiencing loss, isolation, or grief? 

  • What were they most afraid could happen to them?

Good. Now, start writing.

Embracing New Narratives

For creative leaders working in tech, conflict is an inevitable part of human interaction and can be a source of immense frustration and negativity. Holding unresolved conflicts will drain your energy, cloud your judgment, and hinder your personal growth.

Suppose you hold onto the conflict without releasing it. In that case, it’s sapping your energy, living rent-free in your brain, and stopping you from being able to embrace the positive leader you have become.

How to Apply This

Use the ten questions as writing prompts, and write about each person you hold in your thoughts, good and bad. Trust the writing process to release negative emotions and allow new perspectives to arise. Keep writing until the emotional tension quietens, returning you to a peaceful detachment from any outcome.

For each person you write about, aim to reach a point where you can let any challenging thought or feeling about them pass without dominating your mind or controlling your actions. This work has no time limit, so be patient and kind to yourself and keep writing.

The Short Of It

The next time you feel overwhelmed by conflict or negative emotions, take some time to reflect on the transformative power of narrative. Remind yourself that you can rewrite your story. Just as the figures in the mural represent the collective narrative of Mexico, our own stories are interwoven with the threads of those around us. 

By reflecting on your relationship struggles and glories, you will reclaim your power and get back to being the authentic, badass, creative leader we need in the world right now.

That’s it for this week!

Any topics you’d like to see me cover in the future? Just shoot me a DM or an email.

With ❤️ from Sally

If this email was forwarded to you, consider subscribing to receive them in the future!

PPS Would you like to receive more leadership strategies?

Here are a few ways I can help:

  • Claim your free copy of the Personal Planning Workbook "Sally's Soul Searching Research Guide” and discover how to unlock purpose and direction in the areas of you life that are in your control.

  • Book a free coaching 30 min. strategy call

  • Apply to sponsor an upcoming issue of Leading by Design

  • Contact me with feedback and suggestions for future topics  

How did you like today's piece?

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.