Solving Tension in Design, Product, and Engineering

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This article offers product design leaders strategies to navigate the common "role ambiguity" and friction that arises when Design, Product, and Engineering teams—each measured by distinct metrics (experience, revenue, speed)—must collaborate on great products. Drawing from an interview with Colin Grigson, Design Director at Remitly, readers gain an actionable blueprint for overcoming clashes and building influence.

Conflict: The Real Cost of Velocity 🥊

According to research published in the Harvard Business Review on collaboration challenges, product development teams frequently suffer from "role ambiguity." This happens when different disciplines—like Design, Product, and Engineering—fight over the ownership of the user experience, which inevitably leads to political infighting instead of a unified user focus. This friction is severely exacerbated by their distinct, often competing, metrics: Product is typically measured on delivery and revenue, Engineering on speed and stability, and Design on experience and usability.

Given that all these functions are collectively accountable for delivering great products and services, the central challenge for a product design leader becomes: How do you effectively navigate the inevitable conflict and align these disparate priorities?

Below is part of an interview I conducted with Colin Grigson in 2024 for my book, “Leading by Design: The Insider’s Playbook for Tech Leadership". In his extraordinarily candid conversation about this most challenging of issues, cross-functional collaboration in product development.

Executive Insight with Colin Grigson🔥

Colin Grigson is the Design Director at Remitly, a company revolutionizing international money transfers, where he guides the user experience for millions of customers across 170 countries. Colin's impressive career spans major tech giants, including leading product design teams at diverse companies like RingCentral, Redfin, Apptio, and Expedia, with formative design roles at PayPal, Doxo, Amazon, and Dell. His journey offers a unique lens into the strategies and mindset required not only to secure, but critically, to keep the top job in design. Colin graciously shared his perspective on this crucial question:

How do you build trust and collaboration with cross-functional teams, especially when priorities or perspectives clash? 

Here is what he had to say.

“I think trust really starts with being authentic. People can tell when you’re being real, whether they can name it or not; they just feel it. You don’t want to come off as robotic or overly polished, but you also don’t want to be so casual that it feels sloppy. It’s about finding that middle ground where you’re professional but still human.

For me, that means being honest and a little vulnerable. I’ll share what’s actually going on, whether it be the wins or the frustrations. I don’t play politics, and I try not to sugarcoat things. I’d rather be upfront and have a real conversation about how we can move forward together. People seem to respond well to that.

There was a time when three engineering leads couldn’t agree on how we were going to move our design system forward. Everyone agreed we needed it, but no one wanted to take the lead on it. Finally, I pushed on them and said, ‘I need y’all to figure this out. It’s not my place to decide how, but we’ve got to move this forward.’ I’ve learned that being direct, but kind, goes a long way.

Building trust also means giving people space to make their own calls, even if it means they might fail. If you never let folks experiment, nothing new happens. I try to give the same respect to product and engineering that I want for design. My team takes ownership of our work, we present it, we take the hits, and we learn from it. And I think when people see you doing that, it earns credibility.

At the end of the day, we’re all on the same team. Design, product, engineering, and we each have our piece of the puzzle. But if we’re honest with each other and take responsibility for our part, collaboration stops feeling like a tug-of-war.”

Too often, designers hide behind product management. We should be more assertive and vocal about our ideas. As you mentioned, it is crucial to support other functions and build vulnerability. We need to stand behind our work and be willing to learn from our mistakes.

Engineering can be a tricky field. I often start by fostering a strong relationship with my cross-functional peers. Most engineers I've encountered genuinely care about building quality products. They may not always share our aesthetic preferences, but they understand the value of good design and user experience. By consistently delivering high-quality work and demonstrating its impact, we can gain the trust and support of product teams.

When approaching engineers, it's important to consider their perspective. They often prioritize scalability and efficiency. We can foster a more productive and collaborative relationship by framing our discussions regarding how our work can improve their ability to build and maintain systems.

Engineers have different love languages, right? So, how do you show up for them in a way that works for them? Often, designers come in and start changing patterns, and engineers ask, “Why are we changing this? We do it this way everywhere else!” because they're pulling in components, shared assets, and all that. The designers have to come up with answers to these questions, and the engineers might think they're a bit weak. This creates tension because, eventually, someone has to build it, often ending up in this weird in-between place.

And that’s why I think involving engineers early in the review process is crucial. They need to be included from the start. One of the biggest challenges engineers face, which takes time to address, is their dual mindset. On one hand, they’re constantly asked to deliver solutions within tight constraints. “How long will this take?” “What are the limitations?” These are the questions they’re accustomed to answering. However, it's important to encourage them to think beyond these constraints and explore the possibilities.

But for a lot of design work, you're doing the opposite. You're acknowledging the constraints but not letting them dictate the solution. You're asking, "What's the right thing to do?" Then, the constraints help you make the necessary compromises to achieve that goal.

However, when it comes to technology, we should always be pushing the boundaries and evolving. We shouldn't constantly pull back on constraints. So, the challenge is getting engineers, who often operate within specific constraints, to think more creatively and contribute as "yes and" partners. This shift in mindset can make them invaluable to the process.

When you shift into that creative problem-solving mindset, things happen, right? People start thinking, "We have this limitation, but if we connect it to this other thing, we could do it in half the time." Getting them into that mindset is key and takes time and effort, starting with the product and bringing everyone together to focus on it.”

🛝 Step To Transform Your Relationships

Based on Colin's deep experience, here are the non-negotiable actions you can take away to transform your cross-functional (XFN) relationships:

1. Be Authentically Vulnerable: Don't be afraid to be a person first. Share real struggles (both work-related and personal) to encourage others to drop the corporate armor. This informality creates the psychological safety required for real conversations about what's best for the company.

2. Embrace Radical Ownership and Take the Hits: Never let a PM present controversial design work. If the user experience is criticized, you, as the design representative, must stand up, take the hits, and own the outcome. By insulating the PM/Engineer from the heat, you build political capital and gain the "leeway" to experiment and fail later.

3. Frame Design in Their "Love Language": When speaking with engineers, stop talking about aesthetics and start discussing scalability and efficiency. Frame your design system proposals and component changes around how they improve the engineers' ability to build and maintain systems. This shows respect for their priorities.

4. Enforce Early and Deep Engineering Involvement: Don't wait until the final review to involve Engineering. Include them from the start to get them into a "yes, and" problem-solving mindset, rather than defaulting to a "no, because of constraints" mindset. Challenge them to think creatively about how to overcome technical limitations, not be ruled by them.

5. Be Direct with Kindness: When organizational "passing the buck" happens (like the design system example), do step in and be direct. Establish the "what" (e.g., "You all figure it out; we need a design system lead") while respecting the "how" by trusting your cross-functional peers to own the solution. Honesty, even when direct, is appreciated more than political games.

🔌 The Power of Vulnerable Authority

The most powerful form of leadership in a cross-functional environment is vulnerable authority. You don't build trust by being perfect or by hiding behind process. You build it by being authentic and willing to be held accountable.

By respecting the value other functions bring, by proactively taking ownership of the bad outcomes, and by giving your peers and your team the room to make decisions and even fail, you earn the authority to lead. This radical shift in accountability is the single most effective currency for securing and retaining the design function's influence at the highest levels of a tech organization.

💡Ready to Master Cross-functional Leadership Influence?

The journey to strong cross-functional leadership is paved with honest, often difficult conversations. Colin Grigson’s insights offer a powerful blueprint for navigating this tension with authenticity and courage.

Dive deeper into Colin’s full interview and proven strategies for mastering design influence in my book, "Leading by Design: The Insider's Playbook for Tech Leadership." Order your copy today! 

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